Senator Guohuhu of the State of Mayflower joined a radio broadcast stating he remains a Chinese citizen and would prioritize China's interests over those of the United States. | Senator Guohuhu asserted that Taiwan is part of China and claimed communism has always worked despite a historic shift toward market-driven capitalism since 1978. | RO-SPAN Radio has launched a pilot broadcast covering hot hits, regional news, and live call-in game shows with cash prizes across Harrison County, Ridgeway, and Clark County. | The conviction hearing for Jamie Wallace has been delayed by a month to July 23rd, with local coordinators seeking assistance in Leicestershire, England for coverage. | A pending civil liberties lawsuit by the Mayflower Civil Liberties Union (MCLU) against the Clark County Sheriff’s Office (ThatUniversal v. CCSO) regarding a command restructuring could fundamentally reshape Mayflower public employment law. | A covert international task force directed by US President Jeffrey Bloxstein reportedly captured communist commander Guohuhu81900 in an infiltration mission targeting a hidden valley base. | An incident at a Lower Greenwich construction site has sparked cover-up allegations after armored personnel from the "LabsCo Black Division" clashed with police over the transportation of an illicit substance called "nopyfruit." | The Russian "Smertov Syndicate" organization has surged operations in Clark County, declaring war on the terrorist organization known as "The Red Front" after alleged failures by Governor T4K3N. | Ridgeway Attorney General AdamStratton has officially rescinded a highly controversial directive that briefly authorized law enforcement to use deadly force against individuals excessively honking outside the courthouse. | The Ridgeway County Sheriff election has concluded with the victorious Undersheriff sage03x taking office while the losing candidate dev_typ faces backlash for cursing out voters. | The Ridgeway Credit Union (RCU) has filed a formal breach of contract notice against former security lieutenant iiPhoenix_Builds for employee handbook violations. | Ridgeway Governor Rathuzen has signed twelve major pieces of legislation passed by the State Senate, establishing a new Department of State Security and creating a strict legal framework against racketeering and organized crime. | The executive motorcade of Ridgeway Governor Rathuzen survived an early morning ambush involving firearms and gas canisters deployed by unknown attackers. | Jamestown University in Harrison County is offering a limited-time financial incentive where residents can claim a $1,250 payout by purchasing and documenting official campus merchandise before June 28. | A planned traffic closure by the Harrison County Transportation Authority will shut down East Dock Street between Civic Ave and Harrison Ave on June 27 during the opening hours of the County Council elections. | Severe thunderstorm risks in the mid-atlantic region have prompted Jamestown and Kaslo campus closures and triggered widespread tests of the Harrison County Weather Service alert systems.
Yep, you heard it here first folks. A recent intelligence leak at the less than prestigious news organization’s Head-Quarters has exposed the long hidden truth about their namesake. Man Penis in Butt Sex (MPBS) employees have been scrambling during the last hectic hours of this otherwise peaceful Saturday, attempting everything possible to save their employer’s image. Unfortunately for them and their mortgages, the public does not forgive easily and they never forget.
lmaooooo!! Man Penis in Butt sex??? Thats friggin GAY dude!
- @Stanlabs on X, 12:35pm EST, 11OCT 2025
Man Penis in Butt Sex (MPBS) Director General sat down with our correspondents shortly after the anonymous leak to speak on the matter; he had this to say:
Image of CD_RZ (Gridr via M-SPAN)
“I named the company ‘Man Penis in Butt Sex’ because that’s something I’m very passionate about. The choice to disguise the true name of my organization within an acronym was a psyop to make our viewers gay.”
- CD_RZ, Director General of Man Penis in Butt Sex
M-SPAN urges all citizens: If you do not want to become gay (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!) you shouldn’t get your news from Man Penis in Butt Sex (MPBS), and instead pledge loyalty to the amazing, impartial, non-partisan, for-the-people, M-SPAN.
Matt_F22 is a certified big dick wigga. He first hit the scene as M-SPAN's chief hood-firearm consultant. After being offered a position as a correspondent, Matt_F22 began hosting RO-SPAN radio news segments alongside Ziaxun and ChumUnicorn64. Matt_F22 has been dedicated to reporting on topics which other M-SPAN correspondents are afraid or unwilling to report on, daring to go where no journalist has gone before. (@matt_f22)
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